I've been playing the game "Sweet Fuse", lately I've played a lot of otome games. This game released recently (August 27th). I love playing it, I think I haven't enjoyed a videogame in a long time. Today I just finished Makoto Mikami's route, I wanted to leave his to the last, but I just couldn't resist it hehe. Makoto is a very interesting character... at the end of his story... I liked him a lot.
The thing with Makoto is that he touched a very thin fiber inside of me. I cried in his ending because of something he said; which was "I'm not lonely anymore" (or something of the sort). Maybe a lot of people consider he's nuts or something like that, but I can understand him pretty well. This entry is not to write about him precisely, but to express the feeling he made me remember. I have felt lonely all my life as well, and I've wanted someone to save me too. I've always dreamed of a love so big that it has the capacity to heal me and save me from all the pain that I've gone through.
Being alone is not something easy at all, it's a painful thing. Throughout my life, many people have hurt me deeply... especially my family. That's the reason why I'm not very open with others because I don't want to get hurt anymore. When I was a teenager, I consistently thought of going away... far away from where I live. In the end, what I really wanted to do was run away from my problems and my sorrow. The truth is that pain never goes away unless you face it, it doesn't matter how much you want to run away from it or how much distance you think you put in between because it will always reach you.
This character, Makoto, only wanted to find a sense to all his sadness and pain. I guess that's what I've wanted all this time too. When you've gone through so much... you just want to know why... and if it has been for a reason. All I have wanted is for someone to hold me and make me feel that all has been worth it. Honestly, I have learned that I can't expect anybody to save me because no one has that power. A man can't heal me or save me... only God can. And at the end of all this... I, too, want to say: "I'm not lonely anymore" with a smile from the bottom of my heart. I have faith that that day will come soon.
